


Prankster's Paradise

by MintsFreakshow



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Alternate Character Interpretation, Comedy, kinda spoiling my own content there but whatevs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:07:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22066741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MintsFreakshow/pseuds/MintsFreakshow
Summary: Mainly comedy focused story based on a "What If Xion Was A Prankster Jerk" AU, some cute shipping stuff, maybe some angst, we shall see.
Relationships: Isa/Lea (Kingdom Hearts), Olette/Xion (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 8





	1. Bored Teenagers Are Dangerous Things

“I fully expect you not to listen to me, and I understand why,” Isa spoke with a slight sigh to the dark-haired girl slumped in the chair across the kitchen table. “There’s just some instances of your behaviour that need to be discussed, I’m glad you’ve become so comfortable since Lea and I took you in but these pranks of yours are getting out of hand.”

Xion rolled her eyes at him, Isa was always so serious, a much better person than he was before re-completion but still all boring and stuffy. “They’re really not that bad.”

“Oh?” Isa took out his phone, and soon enough a video was playing on it.

Xion was looking at herself. “I call this next prank… Throw Roxas Off Train!” Roxas’s protests, and eventually screaming, were pretty funny but yeah, she probably shouldn’t have put that one online.

A few days had passed, technically she had been grounded but no one really enforced that. Sure, Isa acted serious about it but him and Lea really weren’t parental figures. Lea was more of an easygoing older brother and Isa was just the put upon boyfriend trying to adjust to a relatively normal life while managing two teens. Which wasn’t working out well. And so Xion was walking along the streets of Twilight Town, eventually running into one of her usual associates, however it was the one she didn’t want to be alone with for fear of embarrassment.

Olette. When they first met, Xion was able to talk with her easily and calmly, but then she started noticing little details about the other girl that made talking to her difficult. The exact way her hair moved in the wind, the little shifts in tone in her voice, the length of her fingers… The few who knew about her crush were often spared that bit of inner thought.

“Xion! You in there?” The other girl was now in Xion's personal space, which caused the dark-haired girl to jump a little in place. Face reddening as Olette giggled. “You just completely spaced, you okay?”

“Uh yeah, when am I not?” Mentally Xion kicked herself for that response, Olette was genuinely caring, Xion immediately thought the other girl was insulted. Though in actuality, all it got was an eye roll from the brunette who figured this was just a bit of Xion’s usual weirdness.

“Pretty sure Roxas mentioned that you spent like a month in a coma.”

“Extenuating circumstances… A-Anyway, what are you up to? You wanna, uh..” Xion's voice caught in her throat, she could just ask her here and now.

“Work, putting up flyers for another of the old ducks schemes, I’ll catch up with you and the guys later.” 

As she watched the girl disappear around a corner, Xion almost chastised herself for failing to ask Olette out, something else about the conversation became Xion's focus. She muttered her thoughts to herself “The hell did I mean by ‘extenuating circumstances’? Comas don’t just happen out of nowhere. Get yourself together girl.”

With that the day went on, she met up with the guys, Olette joining them later, it wound up being a failure of a planning session for the next prank. It was going well, until Pence pointed out that only he and Roxas were still allowed in the kitchen of the bistro after the ‘incident’.

“That wasn’t really our fault.” Hayner protested.

“It kinda was.” Roxas shrugged “I mean, yeah, Sora wanted to see if you could cook well with a blowtorch, but you all are smart enough to know you should’ve stopped him.”

“The views though!”

As it got later, Olette and Pence head off earliest in that order, Hayner and Roxas leave to get some “combat practice in” which is to say Hayner hits Roxas with a poorly stuffed Struggle bat. Leaving Xion to wander back home on her own, arriving in time to find Lea fighting with a box of ramen packages. “Oh hey Xion, when I get these bastards out of the box you want some?”

“Are they the actual spicy ones or the super cheap spicy ones that actually just taste like chemicals?”

“The latter…”

“I’ll pass.”

As Lea finally frees his meal from its cardboard prison, Xion has already departed up to her room, collapsing back on the bed. She did like it here, in Twilight Town, the people she cared about were mostly all here. But there was still a reason for her pranks, besides just not letting a funny idea go to waste, Twilight Town gets boring. Really boring. 

“How does everyone do it?”

“Do what?” Isa inquires, having passed by her door at an opportune moment.

“Live everyday the same.” She was a bit annoyed that he asked.

“I’ll see if I can budget in a vacation down the road, though that won’t be for a while.” The blue-haired man says after some thought, then with a nod starts to head off.

“Wait!” Xion sits up, Isa looks back “Why do you let Lea buy the worst ramen?”

“He cries in the store if I don’t.”


	2. With Friends Like These

A week had passed, Isa mentioned trying to determine the best vacation for the group, saying something about ‘not favouring only one of the groups wants’ which was fair but to Xion it just seemed like an excuse to shut Lea up. The redhead had been more than a bit of a nuisance, constantly throwing out ideas only he was interested in. Not that Xion had any strong desires herself, just a want for change, which ended up in Roxas taking a few good tumbles all over town.

Waking up to another morning of soft light streaming into her room, Xion grumbles and adjusts her pajamas, they were black of course, and made her way down to the kitchen for breakfast. Except that as soon as she made her way down the stairs, she ran into someone, looking up in confusion she caught sight of familiar of blonde hair antenna. And then that cruel little grin, as this woman shifts around to Xion’s side, draping an arm over her. 

“When did you get here Elrena?” The black-haired girl sleepily mumbled. It’s not that she disliked Elrena, the blonde was just a lot to deal with, also where there’s smoke there’s Lauriam.

“Is that anyway to greet your oldest friend?” Said with enough of a hint of irony. She got along with the recompleted woman fine enough, but ‘oldest friend’ was definitely strong, Larxene hadn’t hated Xion but the only other female Organization member hadn’t been around long enough for the two to become particularly good friends.

“Fine, hi, welcome back to our house, and stay out of my room.” Xion wriggled out of Elrena’s hold, not that it was going to last much longer anyway, Elrena was a decent bit taller than Xion. Draping herself on the girl couldn’t have actually been comfortable for the blonde.

With the blonde starting to laugh, somehow finding the girls annoyance comical, Xion continues into the kitchen, and as expected Lauriam is there. The black-haired girl ignores whatever chattering he and Isa are doing, grabbing a box of cereal, sitting at the table. Isa sighs, “Xion please just get a bowl, it’s so unhygienic to just grab handfuls.”

“Unless you plan to eat an entire box worth.” Lauriam chimes in.

The two men stared in horror for a good ten minutes, as Xion did just that.

“We’re out of cereal.”

A few hours later, Xion is back to wandering town, this time with the guests and Lea in tow. It wasn’t the worst situation, but there was quite a bit of chattering and commentary about everything. Not sure why Isa thought she needed any form of company, it was probably just to get some privacy for himself. The girl sat on a ledge, looking out over the town trying to ignore the others, and she managed until Lauriam and Elrena came up on both sides of her. The blonde smirking “You finally get in with that Olette chick?”

“You still pining for that ice princess?”

“She’s got you there Elrena.” Lauriam laughed at Xion biting back at his comrade “Thankfully I don’t do relationships.”

Elrena grumbled with a sneer “Listen, both of you, drop that! That was Larxene, not me!”

“Because you’re so different now.” Xion’s voice oozed with sarcasm.

“Yeah, whatever, dork.” Elrena poked the girl, and tried to ignore said girls look that screamed ‘Great comeback for an 8 year old’ before turning her ire on Lauriam. “And you, don’t pretend it’s some deep philosophy you’re just a slut.”

“Guilty as charged.” The pink-haired man laughed.

And with a huff, Elrena storms off, Xion watched her leave “Did we go too far?”

“Dear, she’ll be over it in an hour at most, knowing her as long as I’ve had I know where to draw the line, this wasn’t even close.” When Lauriam said that, Xion almost wanted to push for details. Keyword: Almost.

“As for you, little puppet girl,” The glare she shot at him was met with a surprising smile, though with a bit of condescension to it. “Please for the love of Kingdom Hearts, just tell her, you look more and more pathetic the longer you put it off.”

“Great pep-talk Lauriam. Your people skills aren’t rusty at all.”

“Fine, stay miserable. Doesn’t matter to me, I have dates lined up for the rest of the week because I get what I want.”

The mercilessly long day starts to move to a close as evening sets in, the four adults drinking and playing cards at the table, while Xion was on the couch eating some of the terrible noodles Lea bought, when her phone begins to ring. That was weird, Sora was really the only one to ever call and barely, he could still hardly work the thing.

But she answered the call anyway, the curt and short greeting from a voice that grated on her. “Xion.”

It was Even, the girl prepared herself for some kind of bad news, this was the first time he’d ever called her. “What do you want Even? Gonna tell me I’m falling apart or something?”

“Nothing like that, I was simply reminded by Ienzo of the date of your creation, and urged by Dilan” His tone of voice clearly meant forced “To wish you a Happy Birthday, though early by two days I suppose.”

“Tell them I said thanks, you know you can pretend it was your idea to do something nice.” Xion might not have been yelling the statement at him but there was force in her voice, then she hung up, tossing her phone to the side. 

There was a short pause before what Even actually said sunk in. “I have a birthday?!”

Lea raised his beer awkwardly. “Uh, mazeltov?”

  
  
  



	3. Set ‘Em Up, Knock ‘Em Down

At first Xion was reluctant to the idea of a party, even if Lea had the ‘resources’, as he called them, to get McDuck to let them book the bistro all night. She was feeling off for a while, most of the guests were former Organization so it was generally a little awkward, but when she opened the gift from her friends and pulled out the taser within, she was full of glee. “The wonders I can do with this. Thank you so much!”

“Now Xion,” Olette moved up beside her and leaned in slightly, which left the black-haired girl trying not to hyper-ventilate from the close proximity. The brunette then gestured to herself, Roxas, Hayner and Pence “Promise not to try it out on any of us.”

“I, uh, yeah I can do that...I guess.”

“Oh! Oh! Use it on me!” Lea rushes from his seat over to her, despite Isa’s protests “Do it! Hit me!”

She would have preferred a surprise attack, but Xion complied, and frankly, Lea’s resulting flailing was worth it.

Most of the rest of the gifts consisted of gift cards and cash, however Lauriam and Elrena’s caught Xion off guard. “This is…”

“A suit, yes, it will fit perfectly.” The pink-haired man filled her pause.

“How do you know that?” Xion was worried for a second.

“Namine.” Elrena gestured to the other blonde in the room, said girl waved, sometimes Xion forgot she was pretty much a doppelgänger.

Once Xion was distracted with something else, Dilan shuffled a bit over and whispered to Lauriam. “That suit looks expensive, what happened to the limit those of us that don’t live here agreed to.”

“We lied to make ourselves look better, besides a limit of 80 really? How tacky. The girls never had a birthday before. Anyway we weren’t the only ones. Ienzo slipped a crisp hundred into his card when you weren’t looking.”

Dilan turned to where Ienzo was sitting, the young man was already gone however.

The night moved to music, snacking and drinking, some people dancing, but most unexpectedly Isa handed Xion a beer “I already know you sneak some of Lea’s from time to time, consider me letting it slide an extra gift.”

“I promise I’ll be more subtle in the future.” Xion was relieved when the man chuckled at that, Isa was hard to break but it was always nice. “So is Lea fine after the shock treatment?”

“It’s Lea, is he ever really fine?” He smirked then looked about “I suppose I should mingle or I’ll get a lecture about being social. Again.”

As he heads towards the guests, Xion looked over all of them, they all seemed somewhat normal. Though what hit was those that weren’t there. Xigbar and Luxords recompleted selves hadn’t surfaced, and no one had any idea what’s happened with Demyx or where he even went. Sora, Kairi and Riku all showed, with Goofy in tow, but the King and Donald were off on official business, Goofy had apparently forgotten he was supposed to go with them. And of course, no Even, could he really not be bothered to just make an appearance?

“Xion!” Hayner broke her out of that thought, holding a small bottle in front of her, then gesturing to Aeleus “Guess what I did to the big guys drink?”

The bottle was labelled ‘Ghost Pepper Extract’, Xion blinked, then turned her gaze to Aeleus as the large man easily downed half of said drink. “Hayner, you dazzling stallion.”

It didn’t take long before the look of confusion appeared on the man’s face, then the motions like he was trying to blow the heat off his lips, suddenly he was pushing over others to get there drinks, yelling about the burning. Soon enough he was just pouring liquids over his own face just to quell the burn, he eventually runs out screaming into the night, Dilan chasing after so Aeleus doesn’t get in any kind of trouble.

Hayner and Xion nearly collapse laughing, and that seems to spread through the shocked party goers, only the more stoic ones not breaking.

The night continues on, with a few calls to check in on the pursuit of Aeleus, Xion steps outside to get some air and coming across Ienzo. “Ah, didn’t expect you to come outside Xion.”

“Yeah, just thinking about some stuff, needed air, why are you out here?”

“Well Goofy has reached the point that he’s rambling on about his son, I can only handle so much of that.” Ienzo noticed the slight shaking that ran through Xion at that. “Is something the matter?”

“No! Sorry, no, I think it’s nice is all. Kid has a dad that loves him, just can’t relate.”

“Xion, what are you-“

“You spend all day with Even, he created the Replica program, he created me! So tell me! So-“ The girl had gotten mad at first, but as she let her anger out, the rest of her feelings came with “Tell me...Tell me why he doesn’t care about me…”

Ienzo wasn’t the best with people, but he knew enough, wrapping his arms around Xion as she started to cry. He thought of saying something, but what was there to say? He didn’t have access to Even’s every thought, so Ienzo had no idea what the other researcher thought of the girl. Or if he did at all. Considering that they had to make him say anything to her that was most likely the case. Even may have improved morally in a good number of ways, but it was still his research that he gave the highest priority.

It’s not too long until Xion manages to recover herself, stepping back from him and wiping her face. “Sorry, I don’t know what happened.”

“It’s fine. As much as we shouldn’t, we all bottle things up, but they need out eventually.” He pats her shoulder gently, with as reassuring a smile as he can give.

“I should head back to the party.”

“That’s probably best. But you shouldn’t keep that issue just to yourself Xion, you should tell Lea and Isa. They might be able to help.”

“Maybe.”


	4. Started Out As A Prank, Got Way Outta Hand

While Xion’s soured mood didn’t kill the evening, the party did end not long after the chat with Ienzo, when Elrena put Lea through a table. No one is entirely sure why, as both were too drunk to remember the reason. Either way, Xion was happy to have a distraction from the serious emotions, even if it did mean having to wrangle and far too drunk Lea to get him home.

A week passes, and while Xion makes great use of the gift from her friends, something restless sets in. She needed a prank a big one, something to affect the entire town. The weather was always so pleasant and mild, there had to be a way to at least temporarily change that. 

Yeah, this town was well overdue for a cold snap.

Hold up for the next three days, the young woman does tests, builds devices, works magic, and eventually emerges with five cylinders, each cold to the touch, and another device with switches on it. Xion then calls the others to meet up and unveil her plan.

Olette blinked at the map, Hayner excitedly looking over each of the marks Xion had made, Pence checking to see if the devices the black haired girl made were stable. Roxas, however, seemed a bit negative on the whole idea. “You really think this is a good idea, Xion?”

“Yeah, wouldn’t have gotten this far if I didn’t.”

“Alright, good point, but this prank seems… Kind of dangerous, possibly. I mean Twilight Town doesn’t exactly see snow.”

“It’s going to be a light blanket, just enough to mess with people.”

“Fine then, who’s on which stop?”

Xion pointed out each drop point for each of the cylinders and assigned each their spot, Olette outside the bistro, Hayner at the top of the clock tower, Pence to the old mansion, Roxas to the Sandlot.

“Wait,” Olette spoke with more than a little concern “Doesn’t that mean you’ll bet the one planting a device on the underside of the tram?”

“It’s gotta be either me or Roxas, and I’ll fit through the maintenance hatch a bit better” Xion was happy to hear that Olette was worried for her, but still gave an uncaring shrug “Not really human, my body can take it if the thing starts moving before I finish.”

With all concerns voiced, the plan was underway, each of her friends went to their respective target locations and Xion went to lie in wait. She knew where and when the tram had to stop, sliding up nearby, and then tossing a firecracker a good distance so that the noise it made was a distraction to the townsfolk. Prying open the hatch, the black haired girl squeezed into the tight space and removed the magicked up cylinder from its bag, jamming it tightly into place, screwing a couple bolts to secure it.

Even before it was primed by the switch device, the cylinder was cold enough that ice was starting to form, it probably meant she hadn’t built it properly. Damn internet tutorial wasn’t clear. Either way, this amused the girl greatly.

The tram had started moving just as Xion re-opened the hatch from within, tossing herself out and hitting the ground with a dull thud. Groaning as she stood, the girl took out the switch device and began to prime the cylinders.

Bistro, Clock Tower, Mansion… Primed.

Roxas had been hanging around a bit after leaving his in the sandlot, so he saw the forming ice around the garbage can he hid his cylinder behind and was hit with a revelation. This wasn’t going to some light blanket of snow. He bolted toward the Tram Common.

Sandlot… Primed.

Tram… Primed.

“Xion!” Roxas yelled, panting as he finally made it to her “What the hell are you doing?”

“Having some fun, Roxas.” Her thumb moved to the sixth switch, grin growing wild. “And now a question for you…”

“What killed the dinosaurs?” Click. Everything went white. And so goddamn cold.


	5. Ice To Meet You

It took Roxas several hours to track Xion down,finally confronting her as she was climbing the snow pile that was the Clock Tower, and he tackled her, the two tumbling all the way down. This caused a small avalanche. Which Xion used to slip away, though she couldn't control herself, cackling all the while so Roxas found her in front of the bistro. “What! The Hell?!”

“Come on, this is great! These people have no idea how to deal with this!”

Roxas went for another tackle.

And next there were fistfights and a lot of dragging, but soon enough the black haired girl was sitting at the table in her home, Isa across from her. “Well,” the serious man spoke “This was certainly effective, won’t have to worry about anything going on in town any time soon.”

“Oh it’ll last like… 4 days, a week at most.” She snapped, arms crossed, not inclined to listen to him at all. She was slightly bruised from the struggle with Roxas, but this was a definite ‘You should see the other guy’ situation, as the lad was currently making use of several ice packs on his face. Seemed wasteful to Xion, what with the actual ice outdoors. 

“The point is still that you have caused more than just chaos with this, the whole city is shut down.”

“You’re just mad you’re cold.”

“Enough commentary from you, we need to discuss punishme-“ As he said this Xion got up and walked to her room, slamming the door behind her in the process, planning to not come out for the next month.

Isa sighed, not noticing the cold breeze as the window slid open, until Lea hit his chest with a snowball. The redhead leaning in through the window gave his beloved a sad smile “You’re shit with kids, babe.”

“Not exactly like I raised her.”

“Still, something’s clearly wrong with her. Boredom doesn’t make someone do something this extreme, or she’d have done it already.”

“And what, praytell, should be how we handle this?” Lea just gave a shrug to his boyfriend’s query, smirking still.

“Well, to avoid the mob, I suggest we get the hell out of here for a while.”

After a few days of not leaving her room and only getting food by it being brought to her, mainly Lea’s supply of garbage noodles, Xion would awake not in her room but slumped in a chair. In a Gummi ship.

Isa was beside her, piloting the vehicle as best as he was capable. “Ah, you’re finally awake.”

“What’s...What’s going on?” She wasn’t worried, just very very confused.

“I realized something, the greatest punishment I could give you was to rob you of reveling in your work. The others are below deck, we’re going on vacation.”

It took Xion a bit to fully grasp one simple fact, Isa was right, they would be away from Twilight Town until the magical snow faded away. It would bug her the whole time. “Dude, you’re like an evil genius.”

“What? You thought Xemnas was doing the actual planning in the Organization?”

“So… Just you, me, Lea and Roxas?”

“No… Lea decided on an extensive amount of company.”

A few days earlier…

“Alright, I understand Olette, and to a lesser extent Hayner and Pence.” Isa said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “But… But all these… People…”

Lea shrugged “Well let’s go through them”

“Elrena and Lauriam.”

“They know how to party.”

“Sora, Kairi, and Riku.”

“Sora would be upset if we didn’t bring him, the other two are a package deal and Riku wanted to try some kind of crazy survivalist techniques he read about.”

“Namine.”

“Mostly I just feel bad for her.”

“Donald and Goofy.”

“I still owe them a lot, and plan to win away my debt through poker.”

“The remaining former Organization members.”

“Legal reasons that I’m not at liberty to discuss.”

Isa just slumped in his chair and sighed.


End file.
